User’s Name: Crystal1991
Age: 17
City: Baltimore, MD
Drug(s) of Choice: Meth, meth, meth and I’d kill if I could get just a little bit of meth.
About Me: I don’t know what I’m doing here. I was hanging out at my boyfriend’s place when the cops bust in and they arrested me and my girlfriend. We were climbing out the back window and we aren’t like that even though I was with him and somehow I tested positive in the piss for the tweak. I wasn’t on it, I didn’t know he was a dealer and whatever. I went in the program at 88 pounds and now I’m 145 and it’s cuz they feed us fat foods and don’t let us out or give us pills or whatever to keep us right it’s stupid. Help me get thin again by whatever you got like fun, "magic" or sex or whatever, just get me back in shape.
Hobbies: I used to like dancing but I like sleeping a lot more now but I can do whatever. I won’t go hunting with you or anything and maybe fishing would be cool but you better be hot as freak, rich as freak or have stupid stacks of cash sitting around to buy us some new clothes based on my new weight. You also can’t talk about my weight.
Dreams & Goals: I want a job as a promoter. I want to bring bands in and set them up, maybe take a ride on Willy Nelson’s bus or whatever, no big deal. Just want to lose weight for real cuz I’m dumb fat from this hospital.

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This innovative program is under tentative funding from the State of California, as authorized by a joint house bill passed April 2nd, 2008, but it is administered by outside agencies. Complaints should not be directed to the state itself, but rather the agencies acting all over her behalf.

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